Pick Up The Pieces

Even though it’s easy to jump into a new relationship, getting over someone you thought you would spend eternity with is an emotional process because you spend hours crying on your best friends shoulder, you listen to sad songs on Pandora, and you eat your weight in junk food.

First, getting over someone you thought you would spend eternity with is an emotional process because you spend hours crying on your best friends shoulder.

You shouldn’t go through this alone. If your best friend is truly a friend she will be there for you to dry your tears, tell you how it’s their loss for losing out on a great person like you, pour you a shot or two of tequila, and stop you from drunk texting your ex and putting all your drama on Facebook.

You should wait a week or two before you post about your break up on social media and/or tell your family/friends.  

Wait until the breakup is really final before you say anything. I remember when I was dating “Brent” and when we broke up my friends came over to help me get over him. In the midst of me crying they started telling me how they never liked him and how he wasn’t any good and started naming reasons why we shouldn’t be together… some of it may have been true, others were said with the hopes that it would make me feel better… but when “Brent” and I got back together two days later, things were awkward whenever we would all hang out together.

Additionally, you listen to sad songs on Pandora. 

I don’t care what anyone says, there is power in music. Music speaks to your soul. Well I know it speaks to my soul for that matter. My first real break up happened back when I was dating “Brice”, don’t get me wrong… I’ve had plenty of breakups but none that really hurt my soul. I don’t know what it was about “Brice” but our breakup rocked me to my core. I locked myself in my room for days playing the same Fantasia song over and over and over again. Free Yourself - Fantasia

The songs I listen to when I am attempting to mend my broken heart makes the process a little bit easier. The songs make me feel a little less alone. Yea, my friends say they understand what I am going through and dealing with but there are no words in the human language that can describe the pain I feel in my chest. 

Remember when you were little and you would fall down and hurt your knee, or bump your head and your mother would kiss it to make it feel better…? That’s what music does for me. It kisses the pain to make it feel all better. 

Find yourself a good station on Pandora or create a playlist on your phone and/or iPod and let the music take you away.

Since U Been Gone Kelly Clarkson http://youtu.be/aBeDBLHedf0

Forget You Cee Lo Green http://youtu.be/pc0mxOXbWIU

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Taylor Swift http://youtu.be/WA4iX5D9Z64

Burn Usher http://youtu.be/t5XNWFw5HVw

Ain't No Sunshine Bill Withers http://youtu.be/tIdIqbv7SPo

Somebody That I Used to Know Gotye http://youtu.be/8UVNT4wvIGY

Bye Bye Bye *NSYNC http://youtu.be/Eo-KmOd3i7s

Un-Break My Heart Toni Braxton http://youtu.be/p2Rch6WvPJE

Ex-Factor Lauryn Hill http://youtu.be/cE-bnWqLqxE

'Everybody Knows John Legend http://youtu.be/c7NLq5Soq_E

So Sick Ne-Yo http://youtu.be/IxszlJppRQI

Not Gon' Cry Mary J. Blige http://youtu.be/Xxk4e59M8og

Just be a man about it Toni Braxton http://youtu.be/wpaR3wzTlvo

Me, Myself and I  Beyoncé Knowles http://youtu.be/4S37SGxZSMc

The One I Gave My Heart To  Aaliyah http://youtu.be/jnFKa8iuwHU

All Cried Out Allure http://youtu.be/D2_A3Ia-69U

The Love We Had (Stays On My Mind) - Dru Hill http://youtu.be/LOa2SRshWEI

We're Not Making Love No More - Dru Hill http://youtu.be/9S-fkjC2OOs

If You Think You're Lonely Now - Bobby Womack http://youtu.be/sbbZ_k1Z8gU

Do You - Ne-Yo http://youtu.be/tDa4LBOqWGU

We Can't Be Friends - Deborah Cox and R.L http://youtu.be/01yPbUXnJZk

Brokenhearted - Brandy Norwood http://youtu.be/9j17qt53Bh0

Foolish Ashanti http://youtu.be/gUPrnu3BEU8

Be without You Mary J http://youtu.be/8XNaPX6MKlU

Finally, the most important reason getting over someone you thought you would spend eternity with is an emotional process is you eat your weight in junk food.

I am an emotional eater. When I am upset and/or angry I eat. I was both when “Brice” and I broke up. I know I had to have gained at least 10lbs while trying to get over him. It had to have been day #3 of the breakup (maybe day #4) and I felt so empty inside. I didn’t want to feel empty any more. The only way I knew how to fill that emptiness was to eat. So I ate.

I ordered a slab of ribs from Country's Barbecue along with a pulled pork platter with extra pickles and onions, baked beans and fries as my sides, a side order of fries, and a large lemonade.

I called Pizza Hut and ordered a large pepperoni pizza with bread sticks and hot wings with extra marinara sauce, 2 liter of sprite, and cinnastix.

I placed an order at Hong Kong China for chicken fried rice with no egg and no veggies.

Not to mention the cookies, candies, and fruit bowls I picked up from the grocery store.

My roommate at the time rode with me to go pick up everything and she thought we were getting ready to have some type of party. 

We were roomies but we weren’t really friends so she didn’t know what was going on in my personal life. I could only imagine what her face looked like when we got back to the house and I took all that food and went straight to my room with it.

Yes, you read that right… I took all that food and locked myself in my bedroom and I ate until I no longer felt empty inside while listening to Fantasia on Repeat.

Indeed, while it’s easy to jump into a new relationship, getting over someone you thought you would spend eternity with is a necessary emotional process.

You have to deal with and mend your broken heart. I’ve spent years jumping from one relationship to the next after I broke up with “Brice” because I did not want to feel that pain again. 

Not allowing myself to heal properly caused drama and confusion within my new relationships. 

My new mate(s) were truly the real MVP(s) because they were fighting a battle blind folded with one arm tied behind their back(s). 

Yea, I was all glitz and glam on the outside but inside I was an emotional wreck.

Do yourself and your future “boo” a favor and take the time to mend your broken heart. Love yourself enough to fix what’s broken. 

You wouldn’t buy “damaged goods” at the grocery store and I am sure that if your “boo” still had hang-ups about their ex you would tell them to deal with all of that before they pursue you. 

So I am telling you as your friend to take all the time you need to pick up the pieces and fix your broken heart.

I love you and I am here if you need me.

-Stacie