While pornography can be addicting,
pornography can have positive effects on a relationships because it can open
communication about your partners’ wants, needs, and desires, it can spice up
your sex life, and it can possibly stop your mate from physical infidelity.
First, pornography can have positive
effects on a relationship because it opens communication about your partners’
wants, needs, and desires. The Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography
defined pornography as “material predominantly sexually explicit and intended
for purposes of sexual arousal” (1986. Pp. 228-229). The term sex was the most
frequently searched word on the internet (“Sex is the most searched term on the
web,” 2002). An estimated 40 million Americans view pornography on a regular
basis (Ropelato, 2011). One of the main reasons couples have issues in their
relationship, outside of money issues, is because they are not satisfied
sexually. They are not satisfied because they do not know how to bring up the
subject of what they want. If a couple were to watch pornography together then
they may not feel as embarrassed and/or shy about talking about the things they
desire. Liza Featherstone writes in You, Me and Porn Make Three, that adult
material can be a healthy outlet for sexual fantasy, and can even possibly
bring a couple closer together. You both may secretly want the same things, but
are afraid to tell the other because you are not sure of what their reaction
may be. Benjamin and Thusten (2010) did a study about the positive impact of
couples indulging in pornography together. Participants in the study said that
viewing adult material together helped them learn how to better satisfy their
mate.
Additionally, it can spice up your sex
life. Indulging in adult materials with your mate allows you to explore each
other’s fantasies. Pornography can inspire you to try new things with your
sexual partner. You can experience the wild side of life without ever having to
leave the comfort of your own home. Pornography can be used as a learning tool
in the relationship. You may not be able to successfully articulate exactly
what you want to your partner but a picture is worth a thousand words. If you
are putting forth an effort to ensure that your mates wants needs and desires
are being met and in turn they are putting forth an effort to ensure that your
wants needs and desires are being met, then that will help the two of you form
a stronger intimate bond.
Finally,
the most important reason pornography can have positive effects on a
relationships is it can possibly stop your mate from physical infidelity. Some
women are uncomfortable with their spouse indulging in pornography. One reason
that women are uncomfortable with their husbands watching porn is because they
are insecure and feel as if the women on the videos and/or magazines may be
more attractive than they are and that they are unable to compete with them.
Wives may feel as if their partner is committing adultery if they are looking
at adult themed materials. The Merriam-Webster definition of adultery is
“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his
wife or a married woman and someone other than her husband.” Ross Douthat
writes in Is Pornography Adultery, that if watching a woman perform sex acts in
front of you is cheating then watching it on your TV should be cheating as
well. Douthat also states that although the husband may be cheating sexually,
worse forms of infidelity are being averted. He is not getting emotionally
involved with another woman, there is no risk of him catching a sexual
transmitted disease and unknowingly giving it to you, and there is no chance of
him accidently creating a baby out of wedlock.
Wives should not focus on the
woman on the screen, rather the act that is being performed on the screen. She
should ask her mate what about that particular scenario is appealing to them. Men generally participate in these extracurricular
activities because their mates are unwilling and/or uninterested in doing
certain things in the bedroom.
In
the article You, Me and Porn Makes Three, Liza states that couples talk about,
strategize, and compromise on many issues in the relationship like how money is
spent, how many children they will have, where they will raise the children,
but they never discuss their intimacy needs. It doesn’t have to be a formal
contract mapping out when, where, how often, and what specific acts will be performed.
You just need to have a general idea of the others expectations so neither one
of you ends up feeling hurt and/or neglected.
Applying the emotivism perspective to
pornography in relationships, the wife is uncomfortable with the material there
for it is wrong and her mate is committing adultery. This perspective would fit
hand in hand with the deontology theory. The wife would argue that she would
not continue to do something that made her partner feel uncomfortable or
inadequate.
To
apply the utilitarianism theory to adult material in relationships, the wife
will agree that there are worse things her spouse could be doing.
Indeed, while pornography can be
addicting, pornography can have positive effects on a relationships. Beggan,
J.K. writes in “What sort of man reads Playboy” that male readers indicated a
lack of stereotyping women and correct information about women, sex and relationships
proved to be extremely educational. The positive benefits of indulging in adult
material together outweigh the negative.
References
Attorney
General’s Commission on Pornography (1986). Final report. Washington, DC:
Government Printing Office.
Beggan,
J. K.,& Allison, S. T. (2013) “What sort of man reads Playboy?” The
self-reported influence of Playboy on the construction of masculinity. The
Journal of Men’s Studies, 11, 189-206
Benjamin,
O., & Thusten, D. (2010). Intimacy and/or degradation Heterosexual images
of togetherness and women’s embracement of pornography. Sexualities. 13,
599-623
Butler,
M. E., Holm, J. E., & Ferraro, F. R. (fall 2011).
Pornography's Immediate
Effect on Relatinship Satisfaction. Psi Chi Journal of Undergraduate Research,
16(3), 113-122. - See more at: http://reffor.us/index.php#sthash.VAKPzQR0.dpuf
Douthat,
R. (Oct 2008).
Is Pornography Adultery? The Atlantic, 302 (3), 80.
Featherstone,
L. (2005).
You, Me and Porn Make Three. Psychology Today.
Ropelato,
J. (2011).
Internet pornography statistics-TopTenReviews Internet Filter
Software Review-TopTenReviews. Retrieved from http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornographystatistics.html
‘Sex’
is the most searched term on the web (2002). Cyber India Online Limited.
Retrieved from http://www.ciol.com
